Home Forums General SOMETHING FOR THE WEEKEND SIR?

This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Hoof-Hearted 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #89373

    Rudolph Hukker
    Participant
    • Topics: 153
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    • Chief
    • ★★★★

    Member since
    April 2, 2016

    As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world,

     

    I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s ass anymore.

     

    If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

     

    A whale swims all day, mainly eat fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

     

    A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while

     

    A tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

     

    And you tell me to exercise??  I don’t think so.

     

    Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,

     

    the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

     

    Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:

     

    1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

     

    2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

     

    3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

     

    4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

     

    5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

     

    6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?

     

    7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.

     

    8. Some days, you’re the top dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

     

    9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

     

    10.. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

     

    11.. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

     

    12.. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

     

    13.. The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.

     

    14.. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.

     

    15.. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

     

    16.. It’s not hard to meet expenses . . . they’re everywhere.

     

    17.. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

     

    18.. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m “here after”.

     

    19… Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

     

    20.. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE……….??????   B-)

    0
    #89390

    Stinky
    Participant
    • Topics: 28
    • Replies: 232
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    • Chief
    • ★★★★

    Member since
    April 6, 2016

    It’s Friday!. Ta Rudi.

    0
    #89395

    caxton
    Participant
    • Topics: 23
    • Replies: 125
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    • Scout
    • ★★★

    Member since
    June 25, 2016

    Have you sent this to me before? For the life of me I cannot remember!

    1+
    #89404

    Hoof-Hearted
    Participant
    • Topics: 15
    • Replies: 217
    • Contributions: 232
    • Scout
    • ★★★

    Member since
    April 11, 2016

    Just watched a film on how ships were built.

     

    It was riveting.

    1+
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